Carolyn Shannon

Start

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start where you are shirtWhoosh! Here we are. The shirt is ready, we've raised $450 (thank you amazing people!), and the training is done. It's time to run. I was greeted this morning by the biggest sky full of stars I can remember seeing in a long time around here. The air is clear, and the weather looks just about perfect. I feel blessed to be part of this day.

If you do it right, the process of training for anything is supposed to get you to the starting line ready to go. That's it. You have no control over what will happen during the event itself, so you have to let go of worry as much as you can.

I'll write more after my race about all the many things I've learned on my journey here, but for now let me leave you with this fact: friendship, being there for someone who needs it and just loving them and offering a hand, has made all the difference in so many lives. It's why I'm here today, toeing the starting line. So, to all my friends and folks who offered a pb&j, a kind word, or a laugh along the trail,

THANK YOU! Thank you for being here, now.

Love you.

Now i remember all to well Just how it feels to be all alone You feel like you'd give anything For just a little place you can call your own Thats when you need someone, someone that you can call And when all your faith is gone Feels like you cant go on Let it be me If its a friend you need Let it be me

Ray LaMontagne

Have a blessed, fantastic race day, folks. Thanks for taking this journey with me, and with those who need it even more. Don't forget how important you are, to your community, your friends, to every day, and to me.

Let's go!

This is your path

This is your path. A coupla Sundays ago I joined the Fox Valley Marathon group on an 18 mile training run. It was an out-and-back run along the river trail, with a turn-around point in Aurora. Unfortunately, the turn-around point wasn’t marked, so several of us didn’t quite know when to turn around and head back. Through my own mis-calculation, I ended up going 1.5 miles(!) past the turn-around (oopsies), which added three miles to an already long training run. Ack.

pathAlong the way I saw:

  • A lot of really fit runners of all ages, shapes and sizes enjoying themselves and making an 18 mile run look like a stroll through the park.
  • My friend hobbling to a park bench with a broken foot after he stepped on a walnut at mile 8.
  • Several runners pass me with looks of dogged determination and laser-like focus.

Can you tell I was comparing myself? As much as we try not to do it, it’s easy to do, particularly in situations that are new, or when we lack confidence.

The lesson: it helps to remind myself of two things. First, that we are all one walnut shell away from being out for the season. Stuff happens. And second, preparing and focusing on my own situation (starting where I am) will serve me better than trying to figure out how the others make it look so easy.

“Run YOUR race. Focus on YOUR work. Don’t be tempted out of envy to attempt to morph into something you’re not.” – Todd Henry

This is your path, and that is his. Run your path.

Notice to Tramps: Labor Day and the homeless

Lazarus House, my charity running partner, was founded partly in response to proposed local ordinances that would make it illegal to feed a homeless person. Recently, we have seen a dramatic increase in number of such local laws, and it's troubling. It's important to speak against these wherever they occur; they don't address the issue of homelessness, they do nothing but force the homeless into hiding.

Lizzie HolmesIt's not the first time such a "solution" has been entertained in our suburban communities. Lizzie Swank Holmes, a labor organizer and writer who lived in Geneva, was writing about it back in 1886, right before she was arrested for agitating for workers' rights.

Lizzie Holmes and her colleague Lucy Parsons were witnesses at the Haymarket Riot trial in 1886; shortly after, Lucy's husband Albert Parsons was hanged for his involvement in the Haymarket Riot.

Lizzie co-produced and both Lizzie and Lucy wrote for The Alarm, a Chicago labor and anarchist newspaper, one of the papers at the forefront of the movement to adopt an eight hour work day. On April 24, 1886, Lizzie wrote a short piece, Notice to Tramps:

In a beautiful town, not far from Chicago, lives a large class of cultivated, well-informed people. They have Shakespeare, Lowell, Longfellow and Whittier at their tongues’ ends, and are posted in history and grow enthusiastic over the wickedness of the safely abolished institutions of the past. They say eloquent things about old fugitive slave laws, etc., which make it criminal to feed and shelter a starving human being if he were black. Posted at the roadside, in the hotels and stores, is a ‘Notice to Tramps,’ an abominable document which compares well with the old notices to runaway negroes which used to deface similar buildings. It is against the law to feed a tramp. You are liable to a fine if you give a cup of coffee and a piece of bread to a fellow-man who needs it and asks you for it. This is a Christian community, under the flag of the free. Look out, you wretched slaves. If, after toiling through your best years, you are suddenly thrown out of a job along with thousands of others, do not start out to hunt for work, for you will strike plenty of such towns as this. You must not walk from town to town. You must not stay where you are in idleness - you must move on. You must not ride - you have no money, and those tracks and cars you helped to build are not for such as you. You must not ask for anything to eat, or a place to sleep. You must not lie down and die, for then you would shock peoples’ morals. What are you to do? Great heavens! Jump into the lake? Fly up into the air? Or stay - have you a match about you?

We must not let history repeat itself. People who work for a living should be able to make enough to eat and house themselves. Feeding the homeless must not be criminalized. Our hard fought social safety nets must be preserved.

Our community's proud history includes stops on the Underground Railroad as well as abolitionist and labor organizers. Lizzie and Lucy saw that fair labor laws were the foundation to a just society, one that supports the basic rights and dignity of every person in our community.

As we enjoy our Labor Day rest, we must remember that this rest was hard fought and hard won, and only came because locals like Lizzie Swank Holmes spoke up.

A certain darkness

If I've learned anything in nearly 12 years of dragging heavy things around cold places it's that true, real inspiration and growth only comes from adversity and from challenge, from stepping away from what's comfortable and familiar and stepping out into the unknown. - Ben Saunders, Arctic explorer

a certain darknessFailing, and failing, and failing. And getting up.

When things are terrible, messy, painful, it's not much comfort to know that growth comes from adversity.

Even knowing this truth intellectually, even when you really know it's true, it still stinks. Last Saturday I ran 16 miles, and it was not a good run. It was hard. I was very tired, hadn't been sleeping well and had been under a lot of stress the prior week. Couldn't prepare as well as I usually do for a long run. I knew it was going to be tough.

I also knew that marathon training is about "learning how to run when you're tired", a marathon coach once said. How many other things in life can be about that? Probably quite a few.

"Our failures make us vulnerable to transformation in a way the good we do cannot," says Sr. Maryann Mueller, Justice and Peace Coordinator for the Felician Sisters of North America.

So the purpose of long, long training runs, the ones I'm doing on these last weekends before the race, is to build capacity. But it's also to fail. To get to the difficult place. To be tired, and keep going. Walk for a while, stop if you need to. Then start again. Run some more.

But there are stars there, in that darkness. Sometimes when things are difficult, you see them better.

Someone gave me part of their pb&j sandwich. Someone else gave me some of their water. Several someones high-fived me near the end and encouraged me. I didn't know any of these people, they were just other runners, stopping and starting over and over again themselves. I appreciated those simple kindnesses so much. They reminded people can be pretty awesome.

That's why the corollary to "a certain darkness is needed to see the stars" is compassion. When things are difficult for you, if you can gather the strength to give someone some of your water, or can appreciate and receive that gift, it becomes easier to start again. We find hope in each other's small acts.

 

 

 

Living generously

Dr. Kelly Flanagan wrote a beautiful piece recently about what the experience of acceptance, grace, generosity does for us:

This is the brilliance of grace: it welcomes our darkness into the light and does nothing to it, knowing that it doesn’t have to, because darkness thrives on hiddenness, and it’s at the mercy of the light. Light drives out darkness, not the other way around.

When we no longer have to push our darkness back down beneath layers of shame our darkness doesn’t stand a chance.

What about the other side of that equation? What does it mean to be the person providing that acceptance and generosity?

Individually, we have to nurture generosity in ourselves.

loveI believe the drive to live generously lives in most people. We want to be the gracious host, the good friend, the pocket of grace in a condemning world.

It takes work; even people we love, know, and trust can be brutal, crabby, just plain difficult, never mind extending generosity to the stranger, the person outside our tribe, the one from somewhere else who has nothing to offer us and no relations with us to oblige our indulgence.

Taking care of ourselves, rest, exercise, connecting with people who treat us well and care for us, and taking time daily to be with and experience what moves and inspires us creates a space in ourselves that allows us to live with generosity.

Collectively, we can create pockets of grace too.

There are so many examples of communities and organizations countering the trend towards criminalizing homelessness. It's important to recognize them too. I was struck recently by a story about RainCity Housing, a Vancouver nonprofit, worked with an ad agency to create benches that double as emergency shelter for "rough sleepers", with advertising that provides information on the shelter.

Another law attempting to criminalize homelessness, this one a Los Angeles ban on people sleeping in cars, has been struck down by a federal appeals court on the grounds it would open the door to discriminatory treatment against the poor.

Dr. Flanagan said

I can tell you now, grace isn’t just acceptance of the status quo. Grace contains the status quo—all of our struggle and pain and mess—and embraces us and values us anyway. Grace demands that nothing be changed for love and connection to happen, and that kind of love has power.

The power to accept people where they are, especially when it's outside our cultural comfort zone, is a power we can wield to help them begin again. Amazing stuff.

The importance of test runs. Plus, the shirt.

10 mile marathon course "test run" yesterday. Which went really well! Except for one thing, which reminded me why test runs are important.

Ah, the new shoes. Love them! Purple, sparkly, and unfortunately left a blood blister on my right foot. Which is why new shoes should be broken in gradually (I knew that), and why test runs are important.

This applies to everything we do, whether you're doing a job interview, managing a big project, swatching with your knitting before doing that big project, or running a long race. Give yourself some test runs! Here are some other reasons:

  • They build confidence. Every performer knows that the only way to get a handle on nervousness (or sheer terror) associated with doing something new, important, or in front of a whole lotta people is to do it. This applies to everything we do: the more you practice (especially if you can do it in a lower-stakes setting, like a practice run), the more confident you will feel on the big day.
  • They orient you. Getting a lay of the land before-hand, how the course will run, gives you one less distraction.
  • Gives you time to fail. And fail. And begin again. Shorter runs, practice sessions, smaller-stakes projects are lower-cost opportunities to fail, be stupid (whether from poor planning or, um, new shoes). “If you can remove all fears and go one step at a time, you will find things that will guide you along the way,” said Tobias van Schneider, product designer for Spotify. “You will learn new things, absorb new information, meet people, get feedback, see demand in different areas — new doors will open up for you.”

Test runs are a gift you give yourself.

Run with me!

Also, officially unveiling the race shirt! You know, the one I'll put your name (or your company's logo) on if you donate to Lazarus House on my fundraising page:

Lonely race shirt needs your signature!

I'll be adding the name of my blog and the LH logo to my shirt shortly, but there's plenty of room for your name! What are you waiting for?

Shout-out  to my first two donors, Blaine Richards and Kristi Loar! Thank you for your generous support of Lazarus House, and for running with me in September!

Impossible Conditions

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Whatever you're meant to do, do it now. The conditions are always impossible. - Doris Lessing

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The hot, humid is here. That means running gets hard (just like February when it was 10F). So I have to start over, slow down, dress different, pay attention to water.

winter running

I ran through this winter's impossible conditions because my friends were, every Saturday, and I wanted to run with them more.

Conditions are going to be impossible. Find something you want more, and start anyway.

 

 

5 things I've learned about homelessness

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homeless person on running trail I'm lucky to live here. I'm thankful every day for the natural beauty and supportive community. Great schools, green spaces, well tended trails.

And there are also homeless people, and people at risk of homelessness every day.

Around here, it's easier to miss though. In fact, that's why Darlene Marcusson started Lazarus House in 1997; she recognized there were people in the community giving the appearance of living "normal" lives but really sleeping in their car or in shelters in communities 10+ miles away.

Here are five things I've learned about housing insecurity and homelessness since I started looking more closely to try and understand what's going on, both nationally and locally.

1) Nationally, we've tried to cope with homelessness by criminalizing it.

Banning food sharing, sleeping in public and other measures can temporarily drive homeless people underground but does nothing to reduce the numbers of people in need of shelter.

2) We've tried to cope with homelessness with hostility, or sending them somewhere else.

"Anti-homeless spikes", concrete pillars and other "hostile architecture" have become commonplace way to discourage the homeless from spending the night, as are efforts to drive homeless people out of town and drop them off elsewhere.

Neither of these strategies is particularly effective.

3) Homelessness is expensive.

"When you add up the costs of the hospitalizations and the emergency room and the cycling in and out of jails, that costs much, much more than providing someone with housing and services," said Becky Kanis of Community Solutions, a New York nonprofit that launched a 100,000 Homes non-profit in New York a few years ago with a goal of providing permanent housing for 100,000 homeless people.

Anderson Cooper profiled the organization's efforts on 60 Minutes earlier this year.

Across the US, cities are recognizing that providing housing and allied services is the most cost-effective way to address homelessness. The Housing First program in Camden, NJ, is saving money, as opposed to programs that merely tear down tent cities:

It’s estimated that the public saves $10,000 for every tenant housed in permanent supportive housing.  Had all of these individuals been placed into permanent supportive housing using the Housing First model, the net savings would have totaled nearly $1,000,000.

4) School-aged homeless kids struggle.

But they do great things when they get the right support.

Good quality homeless shelters like Lazarus House can be one part of the stability homeless students need to stay in school and excel. News media features stories regularly about the incredible, inspiring stories of homeless students achieving great things; NPR recently featured a story on D.C. high school valedectorian Rashema Melson, living in D.C. General, the area's largest homeless shelter, and Dawn Loggins' acceptance to Harvard.

5) Homeless kids go to school with my kids, and yours.

In St. Charles, during the 2013-14 school year CUSD303 had 128 registered homeless students. Lazarus House cared for 52 children as part of its emergency shelter and transitional living programs last year.

There are no perfect solutions to the problems of homelessness. Structural assistance like emergency shelter and rent assistance is only part of the solution. Addressing homelessness requires a mix of public and private programs, working in concert to provide the supports people need. It's possible, it's less expensive than ignoring or criminalizing homelessness, and it's the best way forward.

You can help Lazarus House here.

Running rocks and the merciless blank page

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The blank page can be merciless. One of my favorite writers on creativity and performance is Todd Henry, author of Die Empty. In his blog, Todd writes about cultivating the practice of being alone with your thoughts every day.

About fifteen years ago, I heard a friend say that the best practice he’d ever developed was plopping down in a chair first thing in the morning with a notebook and staring at the wall. I thought he was out of his mind until I started doing the same thing. It’s amazing how many thoughts pass through your mind, slipping just beneath the level of your consciousness simply because you aren’t listening for them.

But what do you do when you sit with your thoughts and, well, you don’t have any? What if you reach and There’s. Just. Nothing. There.

Very tempting to give up, to give in to the demands of the day’s busy-ness. For some, mornings are not a quiet, tranquil time to gather thoughts and begin again. They bring anxiety and the bustle of activity, getting kids off to school and not being late for work and remembering the mountain of undone tasks and unmet deadlines.

Celebrate the Habit

One key to making it work is to learn how to enjoy and even celebrate that daily process, regardless of the outcome. Because building the habit itself is useful.

Over time, habit trumps the "monkey mind", creates the structure and space for productive work. A lot of times you can’t see the change. But it’s happening.

Starting a run is a blank page. It can be merciless. There are lots of crappy, just ok, not inspiring at all runs. But they all count. So if you can find a way to enjoy, savor or celebrate each one you will build a habit, and it will stick.

running rocksWhen my teenage son wanted to take up running, I encouraged him to pick up a rock at the end of each run. The rock represented his run for the day. They went into a flower pot on our porch so he could see, over time, the pile growing.

With his usual creativity, he soon took to picking his running rock very seriously – on good days the rocks were smooth and shiny, others were jagged and heavy. It wasn’t too long before he could see a pretty good pile of rocks in the pot. And when the time came for his first 5K, he was ready.

Learn to enjoy the habit, and the habit will become its own reward. The goal isn’t some distant achievement, but the process itself. - Leo Babauta, Zen Habits

Don't forget to celebrate the downhills

downhill When I was a girl, my mom used to take naps on the sofa under the big picture window in our living room.

One day, she had a dream she was a girl again, running down a big hill with her hands waving, shouting "Whee!" I heard her shouting, and asked her about it when she woke up.

My mom is gone now. But when I have hills, my mom still runs with me. I try to remember to raise my hands in the air and celebrate the downhills when they come.

Don't forget to celebrate the good stuff.